Bit of a dilemma, could use some advice. Don't know how to start this exactly but here is goes. Before I started working where I work now my absolute best friend in the world worked there and had feelings for a certain girl. Now although he will deny it til this day that he felt anything for her it is a plain as day that he really liked her but literally nothing ever happened between the two. They became friends, at one point close friends, but ultimately that was it. He ended up quiting his job and they slowly stopped talking completely. Forward to now, I work where he used to and this same woman has me feeling all sorts of ways that I genuinely have never felt about a woman before. I've been in love before or at least thought I was at the time and this is most certainly not that type of feeling at all, simply because I haven't tried to act on anything or even attempt to because I feel like I'd be betraying my best friend who couldn't be closer to me if we were brothers. Now I'm not saying that if I choose to act on these feelings that anything would happen between us but if I do not even try then I can guarantee nothing will progress towards a possible relationship. I've purposefully avoided spending much time with her simply because I am absolutely not interested in a friend relationship with her, it wouldn't be fair to myself. And if I ever wanted to pursue a relationship I don't want to be stuck in that position where I'm just a friend. Don't know what I should do, if I try anything with her I feel like I could be possibly risking a relationship with my best friend. On the other hand I feel like I would be doing myself a disservice to not even try with her. Idk, I feel like possibly even altering the relationship I have with my best friend is too great of a risk. But then I feel like I should talk to him about this and explain this too him and pursue something with her. Idk
If there is zero contact between the two (in person or social media) then IMO you are free and clear. If you want to feel good about yourself, then I would certainly broach the subject with the BF. I'm sure it will be a difficult thing to do, but ultimately that is going to be the only way you move forward in good conscious. I has spoken!
@BigDaddyKaine listen to me and listen carefully.... walk away now i've been on both sides of this (your friends and yours) and both times the friendship was lost... all at the expense of some stupid whore -- and i'm sorry bro, but that's what she is, otherwise she herself wouldn't allow you guys to be in this situation
I feel like we have this situation come up every couple months. I'm on Codge's side. YOLO, so I say go for it (talk to your friend first if you can). What makes this Freda Felcher so great, anyways?
was going to say it depends on what she looks like but that's never stopped me before disagree once you talk to him, your friendship will (at the very least) become strained probably worse bros before ho's
His friend had his chance and didn't do anything with it. BDK can't live his whole life worrying about who his bro has a crush on... especially if his bro is too weak to make a move. Bros before Hos works both ways, if BDK's bro doesn't want to be a bro anymore because of who BDK is interested in, then the bro is violating the brocode.
agreed if it was just a crush but was his bro weak or were there other mitigating factors that we're unaware of? bros/ho's is a general rule but i think it may be a little more complicated than we know otherwise bdk probably wouldn't be asking speaking of which... if you have to ask, the answer is probably no regardless... bdk, we need more specifics!!! and mousey... bros before ho's doesn't apply to your personal preference of wanting to do bros instead of ho's :camping:
Ok, I'm gonna fess up. Back in college my roomie and I were friends with these other two chicks who lived in a nearby apartment in our complex (this was in teh 70's) who we got high with, drank with, and just hung out together. There was nothing going on between any of us. About two years later, when my friend had dropped out and the chicks and I no longer lived in the same complex, one of them came on to me. Basically told me to my face she had always wanted to fuck me. Sooooo....I did. There was never anything serious, just physical, and we remained friends afterwards...ok, afterwards several times. Fast forward another couple of years, I was married pretty much right out of school and my roomie returned to school just before I left. Another year passes and I find out my roomie has gotten married- to our mutual friend. He had a couple of kids and settled down. One day he invites me to spend the weekend (it's a 5 hour drive) with them and talk about good times and such. I accepted not knowing whether his wife had ever discussed any previous relationships with her husband or not. It was awkward for me, not knowing what to expect but I went and we had a good time together. To this day I don't know whether my old roomie ever knew of the fling his wife and I had. I certainly never gave a second thought about him hunting in my territory or of her 'betraying' me...it was all good as far as I was concerned. I just never knew what, if any thing, he knew and that sort of bothered me a bit. My old roomie and I occasionally talk on the phone but haven't gotten together since the early 90's. It's still a little weird but we kept our friendship intact.
BDK just ask your best friend I don't know why people make shit so difficult...He never even dated her so how are you gonna be encroaching on anything? The fuck people gotta be so territorial for Even if he did date her, and say they are over, you should be all good Personally I wouldnt allow myself to be in this situation cause ima real nigga But ive been in this situation on the side of your friend and tbh idgaf who dates her after me, as long as shit wasnt happenin while we were together If he wants to be a bitch and get butt hurt, then hes a fag My best friend legit almost loved my ex gf (I suspect he also liked my ex after her as well lol) I didnt explicity give him approval but he knew i didnt care (although he was very cautious of what he said) One day, he wanted to get it off his chest so he let it be known he really wanted to be with her. As a group best friends, we told him do what makes HIM happy Because as a best friend i care about my friends also. I could care less about a girl i wasnt even serious about End of story, she never liked him so nothing came from it But i wasnt gonna rob my nigga of an opportunity because of some bitch feelins FFWD to now. We're still best best friends. We joke about this time to time and everythings good BDK if u like her, get her
don't agree with some of the thoughts here seems to be a lot of who cares what your friend thinks sentiment, to which i don't agree
Sounds like two guys afraid to make a move on a girl. You and your bro need to hook up. At least then you'll both get laid and still be friends.
I hate to agree with FYk, but this is exactly what it sounds like. Your friend's feelings sound like an excuse to not pursue this girl for whatever reason. According to the details your friend had plenty of chances to make a move, didn't, and is no longer in contact with her. If he gets hurt over you making a move then good, he needs to learn he can't just spend months and months crushing over a girl.
You know, I wouldn't be surprised if before you date a girl, you need to get all her stats lined up, and if her WAR isn't high enough, you just don't go out with her.
I've decided to talk to my boy about the situation and pursue it. If we are as good of friends as we are this shit is going to be nothing.