DBB: "Hey Yas, great job out there, high five?..." GRANDAL: ~silence DBB: "Nope, okay, how about you Alex?..." WOOD: ~silence DBB: "Hey Chase?... anyone???..." McGWIRE:
MATTINGLY: "Okay Dee, I want you to shade toward the middle on this next guy..." ROLLINS: "I hate you so much." MATTINGLY: "And stop whining Correia, I'm going to the pen..." WOOD: "I truly hope you get hit by a bus after the game." UTLEY: "Wow, you really are retarded." MATTINGLY: "Don't ever question my authority again Punto." UTLEY:
DDD: Get me the lefty. Wood: Thinking - Idiot. That's your right arm. JRoll-Over: Thinking - Damn. Who made this dumb cracker a manager? Utley: Laughing. Thinking - Tool. Wrong arm. You can't get this shit on pay per view. DDD: What's so funny Chad? Utley: Donnie. He's in Phil...aww never mind. Get the "lefty".
DDD: Great inning guys. Uh Yas? Wood: Murmurs (2nd inning, surprised he didn't pull me) Roenicke: I guess I'll go back to third and work on my prep for my interview. McGwire: Look at Donnie. What a fucking tool. Lopes: Who is Robert D. Manfred Jr? Did a fan sign this?
JOC: "Ah Dre, I love you man!" DRE: "Boy, that better be your cup I'm feeling or we gonna have a problem..."
LOPES: "All I'm sayin iz white bitches like it in the butt." HOWIE: "That ain't true. My wife is white and she doesn't like it at all." LOPES: "O she like it dawg, trust me." HOWIE: "No, she don't!" LOPES: "Well she did last night when I had her face buried in the pillow." HOWIE: "Man, that's fucked up." LOPES: "I know dawg. But don't h8 tha playa, h8 tha game."
RYAN: "So you're up two, what are your plans as the evening progresses?" DBB: "I'll prolly go home, take a shower, then jerk off to goatse porn..." RYAN: "No, idiot! Your plans for the game!!!" DBB: "Oh, shit. I haven't thought that far ahead. We're just gonna play it out and see what happens..." RYAN: [thinking] "Wow, fucken hayseed idiot."
AGON: "Hey Jimmy, why don't you go get my car?" JIMMY: "Man, why I gotz 2 git yo car? Cuz I black?!!!" AGON: "No, because you can't hit, throw or field a baseball." JIMMY: "Nah, you b'n racist to me cuz I black!" AGON: "No, if I were being racist I'd ask you to get my luggage." MAC: "I don't get it... Why do you guys keep calling Dee Jimmy? JIMMY: "Man I can't waitz till we git swept so I can go home." MAC: "To Philly?" AGON: "No, to Ethiopia." JIMMY: "I fucken hate this organization..."
DBB: "Hey Zack, you ready to go on three days rest?" ZACK: "Um... we were eliminated. Our season is over." DBB: "Come on now, I need you to be more positive." ZACK: "Okay, I'm positive you're getting fired." DBB: "Wow racist." ZACK: "What? That doesn't even make sense." DBB: "That's how I roll." ZACK: "Wow, you truly are the biggest tool I've ever encountered." DBB: "Well, my daddy used to say... whatever you do, make sure you do it well..." ZACK: "OFFS"
DBB: "So what's up guys?" ZAIDI: "Donnie we're thinking of making a change." DBB: "No, you don't do that in the middle of the playoffs." STAN: "OFFS, Zack was right." DBB: "We're hot right now, I can feel it." ZAIDI: "Um, Donnie... we've already made our minds up." STAN: "Yeah Donnie, it's about going in a different direction as far as leadership." DBB: "Oh, well in that case I agree." ZAIDI: "What? You do???" DBB: "Yup, 100%" STAN: "Wow, I didn't expect you to take this that well." DBB: "No, you're right. That idiot Friedman has got to go!" ZAIDI: STAN:
MATTINGLY: "So Andy, I just wanted you to know that Farhan and Stan were talking shit about you." FRIEDMAN: "Really? They said they were trying to fire you and you kicked me under the bus." MATTINGLY: "Wow, those fucken racists!" FRIEDMAN: "Um, you not doing that right." MATTINGLY: "I see..." FRIEDMAN: "Good, I'm glad." MATTINGLY: "I see that your as big a racist as they are." FRIEDMAN: "Oh fuck off, you're fired."
Ned: *internal monologue* Not having a #3 really hurt us. With Conte gone and Donnie next, I really need to save my job Ned: *Out loud* Hey, donnie, throw me the Oakland Tribune will ya. *Reads front cover. Continues to read article* Ned: *internal monologue* This cant be true. If this is, that means Barry is a free agent. Ned: *internal monologue* If this is true, we can make an offer for Barry to be our #3 and have 3 cy youngs in our rotation Ned: *internal monologue* Still young. Won a Cy Young. Left handed. Ultra competitive. Somebody Ive seen pitch. In fact, sounds like Kershaw. 3 years 47 million dollars doesnt sound so bad. Ned: *internal monologue* Yeah this is good...real good. Andrew's gonna love this
Reporter #1: Sark. What are you doing here? Why aren't you in rehab? Friedman: This shit again? TJ Simers: Andrew. I'm just here to remind you you're President of the Dodgers. Not the Quakes AF: Who let this guy in? Reporter #1: Tommy did. He loves TJ. AF: Tommy who? And speaking of TJ. Anyone seen Adrian or Fernando? Reporter #1: Wow Racist. TJ: Seriously kid? Tommy is Dodger baseball. AF: Donnie baseball has come to an unfortunate but mutual end here. TJ: huh? Um, OK. Where? AF: Here. LA. TJ: Good but who's next? AF: Donnie is. It's his turn to talk. TJ:
Reporter: Andrew. Any thoughts on your list of managerial candidates? Friedman: Not yet. When my brother finishes his 2015 season of MLB The Show, I'll have a good idea.
Friedman: Oh man. We could have used your arm vs the Mets. Gonzales: What do you mean? Friedman: You were one of the best under pressure Fernando. Arriba! Gonzales: Pinche Racisto Jewish Puto. Friedman: I don't speak Mexican but you can say that again. Gonzales: