ZAIDI: "So this is my office. The only time you'll be in here is to clean or when I DFA you." ROLLINS: "Man, that's some funny shit Farhan." ZAIDI: "What's so funny?..."
REPORTER: "So before acquiring Jimmy, was there any thoughts of bringing up Seager?" ZAIDI: "Yes, but we didn't want to rush him. Plus, with Howie at 2B, this gives us something we feel is both exciting and unique." REPORTER: "Let me guess... two older, but still productive, slick-fielding middle infielders?" ZAIDI: "No, two coloreds. Not many teams have two darkies up the middle." REPORTER: "Wow, racist!" ZAIDI: "I know, right?" ROLLINS:
(Notice the TV in the background) Zaidi: Didn't I tell you this press conference would be timed perfectly? Rollins: Hahaha. You mother fkuckers are crazy. Zaidi: What "mother fkuckers" are you talking about Jimmy? Rollins: Oh.... Uh...... Shit..... Je ne sais pas:scared:? Zaidi: Good answer Jimmy. Good Answer :shifty:.
MATTINGLY: "Hey Blue, I want to challenge that call!" UMPIRE: "What, are you an idiot? I called your guy safe!" MATTINGLY: "Hey, me being an idiot has nothing to do with!" McGWIRE: "Actually, you being an idiot has everything to do with it." UMPIRE: "He's right, idiot." MATTINGLY: "Hey, I still want to challenge the call!" WALLACH: "Fucken idiot." UMPIRE: "werd."
Ned: Hi Andrew. It's Ned. I just wanted to let you know that the Giants DFA'd Marco Scutaro less than thirty minute ago!! I don't know about you but I'd give his agent a call. Other End of the Phone: Silence followed by a dial tone. Ned: Hello? Hello? Andrew? Damn. He must be downstairs in one of the tunnels with his cell phone. I hope he heard me.
COLLETTI: "Hey Andy, the O's have asked for permission to speak with me if Duquette leaves." FRIEDMAN: "No they haven't." COLLETTI: "Okay, they haven't. But they might." FRIEDMAN: "No they won't." COLLETTI: "But what if they do?" FRIEDMAN: "Then they're idiots, and you'd be the perfect guy to lead them." COLLETTI: "Why thank you Andy." FRIEDMAN: "That wasn't a compliment. You just don't get it, do you." COLLETTI: "Get what?" FRIEDMAN: "Exactly."
Fox reporter: Peter. Now that Dan Douquette is headed to Toronto to run the Blue Jays. Have you any thoughts on who you might replace him with. Angelos: I have not given it a thought. Dan is an Oriole. He is 100% behind the Oriole way. Channel 9 Reporter: But Peter. It is all over the news. Everyone knows. What will you do? Angelos: About what? Ch.9 Reporter: About replacing Dan Douquette? Angelos: Who? Danny who? Fox Reporter: Dan. Who will be your next general manager? Angelos: What are you talking about Whitlock? Fox Reporter: Whitlock? Are you seriously calling me Jayson Whitlock? Angelos: Sorry. I saw you worked for FOX so I just assumed..... CH.9 Reporter: Wow. Racist Fox Reporter: No shit. Right? Angelos: I am proud to see FOX had the dignity and class to hire the great Eddie Murray. How have you been my boy? Fox Reporter: Boy? Wow Racist again. Angelos: It's the Oriole way Eddie. CH.9 Reporter: Uh. OK. So I'm call Ripken? Angelos: Cal! I didn't even recognize you son. It's going to be a great season. Dan has everything lined up and Johnny Oates says Brady is going to have a monster season. Both Reporters::doh:
Tin Man: Sandy. This is truly an honor. Do you have any advice? I hear you had a pretty decent curve ball back in the day. Sandy: Compared to that shit you have, a 12 year old little league girl would do more damage in the sixth inning. Crim: Tin Man: Sandy. I'm trying hard. I know I have better stuff. Any thing you offer to help can only be a good thing. Sandy: Retire Tin Man: For the day? I haven't even thrown yet. Crim: Sandy: Have you figured out how to use BOTH sides of the plate yet? Tin Man: Of course. If I face a guy that has success against me, I throw away from him. Sandy: I think I have some autographs to go sign. Tin Man: But there isn't anyone here but the three of us. Sandy: Well. Shit. Tell you what Chad. Since I'm a lefty, I'll go find Drysdale and see if he has time to waste working with you so sit tight. Tin Man: Oh wow. That would be awesome. Thanks Sandy. I see what Kersh sees in you. Crim: .... I'll be back when Drysdale shows up. Tin Man: OK. I'll be here.
Hah! This reminded me of a real life conversation between two of my golfing friends some 25 years ago. Friend one: "I'm really struggling with my game lately, can you spot anything I need to work on, got any advice?" Friend two: "Yes, if I were you, I'd take two weeks off...and then quit altogether." I laughed so hard I had to hold on to the cart to keep from falling out. And after all these years we still use that line today.
NED: " Stan, it's Ned." KASTEN: "For the last time Ned, I don't want to come to your super bowl party at Chucky Cheese..." NED: "No, not that. Andruw Jones is available!" KASTEN: "and how'd that work out for you last time?" NED: "That was then. Besides, we could get him cheap and get some bang for our buck!" KASTEN: "You do realize we already have too many outfielders, right?..." NED: "Well, yeah but..." KASTEN: "and you also realize there's a reason we gave your job to someone else?..." NED: "Yeah, yeah but..." KASTEN: "But this... [CLICK!!!... dial tone]" NED: "Um, hello... hello...
Except...for the part where I'm so fuckin' sick of seeing Rob Lowe and his stupid fuck commercials that I'm on the verge of putting up an antenna and saying fuck pay TV.
I don't have cable. I fired Comcast 14 months ago and have heard just as many bad things about Direct TV. I got a converter box. I don't watch much TV so if I want to see a game I either stream it or go to a bar since I get an 80-90% discount at the two bars I frequent most. I don't miss having it. All the info I need is online and with You Tube, I can watch a replay anytime. For baseball, I buy MLBTV. Being in Seattle, I'm never blacked out. I don't pay for ESPN articles so why pay for ESPN?