DSP THE HOLIDAYS Thread

Discussion in 'Los Angeles DODGERS' started by Finski, Nov 23, 2022.

  1. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    feliz ano nuevo bkitches
     
  2. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    Keeping last year's mirth going ....

    Remember ... OYSTER STUFFING & rhubarb pie with your roasted gobbler, unless you gobble kawk like @irish ...

    Happy Thanksgiving, boyos.
     
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  3. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    oysters are mandatory
    a bit of ground sausage is good too
    and a can sliced water chestnuts — mild flavor but amazing crunch
    or you might prefer pecans since you’re more effeminate, er, traditional

    pro tip: easy on the pelvic thrusts when stuffing your bird
     
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  4. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    I'll eat whatever is placed in front of me
    Ordered a leg of Prosciutto last night for Fri and hope it makes it
    Extent of my participation in the kitchen until it's time to do dishes
     
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  5. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    Time Warp!

    [​IMG]
     
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  6. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    happy turkey day bkitches

    [​IMG]
     
  8. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    well.
    after losing 2 of the family this year, those that still wanted to be together gathered on Friday
    the next generation took over and my kid and the gay nephew absolutely blew the doors off preparing the cuisine
    for the longest time my brother felt compelled to run out and get a spread of wood ranch or such
    it was his thing, and while it was a nice thing to do, the family lamented needing to eat restaurant food every holiday
    he did it mostly for my mom i think but as bougie as it sounds we had grown weary
    so anyway the kids killed it, and i mean killed it
    maybe the best Thanksgiving spread ever and everyone was in full food coma
    i am anticipating a plate of homemade pie slices currently residing in my fridge as i rise this morning
    had started the day replacing all the lights in my gf's condo including one 20' high chandelier thing over the staircase
    i didn't climb the ladder and hang it cause i have a great young Salvadorian brother who helps me with the impossible
    but if you even participate in these types of endeavors you know how mentally taxing and involved you are in the process
    the degree of difficulty w angles, weight, ropes, suspension and finger crossing...
    and of course the obligatory "oh my god" from a woman in the tensest of moments never fails to add to the festivities!
    mission accomplished i made it on time for the remarkable spread and then showered to head out to a Filipino bday party w the gf
    she looks smoking hot in a tight dress and red high heels ready to party
    no idea what to expect as these events tend to be hits and miss plus i'm usually one of the only white dudes in the room
    after many uncomfortable ethnic events over my life i'm used to adapting and making the best of any evening so i always approach w an open mind
    we were two hours late and when we approach this room in a tiny strip mall the lights are bright and...there's a tranny dancing
    a room of around 60 Filipinos packed into this tiny room and a dancing tranny are staring at us and we are ushered quickly to a seat
    gf is hungry, everyones eaten clearly, and by the looks of things no alcohol and people are trapped in a hell party
    so i grab a plate and head for a food table in the back which takes me in front of all these people and this weird show
    i wave the plate like a fan and do a little twirl for trans man as i pass and locate the spread returning w the food which i know is why we are there in the first place
    sit through an hour of excruciating entertainment from a gay mc (seen this douche before) and an endless parade of testimonials from the friends and family
    i have respect for anyone inviting me to a party but to make people sit through that and not even have alcohol was torture even though im personally not imbibing
    gf points out the owner of the spot and under the guise of interest and empathy i approach and talk to her about running a hall and get outside
    find out this little soiree is booked for 8 fucking hours and by my calculations is scheduled for 5 more
    returning to the table i inform the gf of my plan for escape and sorry if her friend will be offended but this is how i'm going to leave
    lights go down and there's awkward bday dancing and then fag mc flips the lights back up and returns to his schedule of strangeness
    more testimonials, flowers being given one at a time, now the husband is singing to her, wait he's singing two songs?
    that's it i tell gf i'm walking outside and waiting until she follows and as i leave a sea of 60 faces looks on wishing they could follow...is that the tranny without the wig?
    we head out to a bar in SO to get her a stiff drink and show her off a little leaving the nightmare behind us
    getting home i'm ready to rape her and as we get to her room realize a sick 2 year old grandkid is curled up asleep waiting for her w her daughter
    they're gone now, her door is locked, but the slider is open and i'm her back door man this morning
    life is good and hope everyone had a great holiday including davey...well maybe not him, ok even him
     
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  9. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    What a post. James Joyce would be proud.
     
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  10. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    dude
    @Finski is right about the joyce reference, although i’d probably go with vonnegut or kerouac
    your ability to tell a story is incredible
    i can actually picture everything you said — literally everything
    and it’s fucken hilarious
    you have a gift, seriously

    as for your evening, i’ve actually been there… or close to it
    i used to have a flip gf so i know how it can — especially be at family functions
    used to refer to the older female women as chickens because of the way they cackled and almost pecked at you
    and the looks you’d get because you’re with one of their’s — not stink eye, just a quick glance to let you know you weren’t welcome
    only difference was my (then) gf’s mom owned a restaurant/bar so liquor was abundant
    she also liked me so i had an ally
    as for the food, the chickens would prepare these amazing dishes — chicken adobo, shrimp rice, and other good shit i can’t remember
    that’s how i was able to win the chickens over
    i would rave about their food and suddenly they’d treat me like i was their nephew
    then i’d tell a couple funny stories and they’d be laughing like idiots, and just like that i was accepted
    fucken simpletons
    of course my sudden popularity ruined any chance of grabbing a bottle and disappearing but whatev
    only difference was those functions weren’t 8 hours with trannies
    but since it was back in the 80’s, there were a lot of flip wannabe don johnson’s
    no whiskey at their functions so we’d usually have to settle for 151
    ah the memories
     
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  11. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    i wish there was reasonable adobo but it was catered by the owner of the spot
    i had just eaten that fantastic spread by the kids so i wasn't even wanting to taste that food
    used to win over the Sri lankans like you are talking about w the same kind of nonsense stories and stuff
    then i started getting greeted on time at the door w 5' brown guys trying to pour Johnnie down my throat
    one slip up like calling an old guy "tati" and i was legend, forget trying to speak their fucking language
    as far as any writer references thanks, guess i just miss rube
     
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  12. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    Also a brilliant stream of consciousness post...

    It reminds me - I needed Bacardi 151 for cherries jubilee last NYE. I found out it isn't made anymore. Didn't believe the store owner but checked on it. Apparently it actually is discontinued ... Other equivalences however...
    [​IMG]

    Don't know if I want to live in a world without Bac151 though.
     
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  13. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    151 is available online I think. Most certainly in PR
     
  14. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    Guess they were forced to discontinue after being sued over ill advised bar tricks that caught people on fire
     
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  15. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    Social Darwinism... We are better off without fuck heads who blaze themselves drinking flaming hooch.

    I'd pay double for Bac151 if I knew 100K fratboys who vote Dem would be crispy by next election...
     
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  16. irish

    irish DSP Staff Member Administrator

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    went to a filipino wedding once
    i was the one white guy there and knew no one except for the hot chick who asked me and her (also hot) mom
    weird thing — and you may have experienced this as well diablo — while the guys pretty much ignored me, the flip bkitches were all over me
    probably a combo of me being white plus being with one of their’s
    whatev, ate all the food i could get my hands on at the reception and we left

    side note…
    hope you’re not offended finski
    i didn’t include you as a reference as the topic was nubile young nymphs and not obsequious young cabana boys
     
  17. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    nubile young nymphs vs obsequious young cabana boys look similar when you flip them on their bellies...

    That's what I heard anyway.
     
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  18. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    i was visualizing people sitting at the bar w a beer that hadn't even noticed said trick was being performed getting torched
    one moment you're hanging w a buddy dropping a beer or two and the next its drop and roll
     
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  19. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    always looking but w this current girl i don't even bother talking to the women cause they're just fucking w her and have zero interest in me lol
    walked up on a wedding in sri lanka at a hotel i was staying in and the girls in the wedding were gorgeous
    made a comment to a lady standing there and she asked me if i wanted to meet them...every store i walked in they were up for anything it was crazy
    had similar experiences in medellin and cr with with girls basically picking ME up
    went to some great mexican weddings and holiday parties that were awesome and yeah the guys tolerated the situation but weren't going to be mi amigos
    and the thai community well that's just all sorts of fun especially when its established you aren't the average farang
    still at this point its all some sort of business deal and i guess it always is isn't it?
    they all tell you they love you and some even prove it for a while lol
    as a wise man once said its the only game in town
     
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  20. Finski

    Finski DSP Legend

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    [​IMG]
     
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