yeah, just like that, but with a slight twist... you guys know how first it is "Morosi says XYZ is signing with the ABC", and then its "Heyman confirms and adds that the deal is $$$$ for X years", and then 10 minutes after its "Onley clarifies that the last year is a mutual option"? well, lets do it that way... lets have at least 4 "corrections" for each rumor...
Gurnick reports that Juan Uribe wont be coming back to the Dodgers in 2014. There were initial negotiations, but when the team fully declined to give him unlimited access to the All-You-Can-Eat area, Uribe's agent stopped the meeting as that was non-negociable on his clients request.
Stanton To Dodgers Deal Apparently Dead By Ima Hack [November 7 at 10:21pm PST] 10:21AM: Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has been hospitalized with minor head trauma. Loria is in an induced coma, and therefore all pending/proposed deals and offers with other teams have been taken off the table. According to witnesses, Loria apparently fell out of his chair backwards after reading Dodgers' GM Ned Colletti's latest offer for Giancarlo Stanton, and hit his head on the floor. When reached for comment, Colletti issued the following statement: "We all feel badly for Jeffrey, sure. But fuck!!!... We had a sweet deal in place and I'm pretty sure he would have taken it! Oh well, guess I'll have to go peddle Zack and A-Gone to the Yankees for Vernon Wells." 8:41AM: Per Ken Rosenthal (via Twitter), there appeared to be a snag in the proposed deal but Colletti still negotiating as always: "Loria asked that we also include Fife, Guerra and Sellers in the deal. lol, nice try! I told him there was no way we would part with our three most prized prospects. Countered with Kershaw, Hanley, (Zach) Lee, (Joc) Pederson, (Alex) Guerrero and $500MM for Stanton -- and told him it was our final offer, take it or leave it!" 2:30AM: According to an update on Ned Colletti's Twitter account, the Marlins are asking the Dodgers for more than just Kershaw and Hanley for Stanton: "Told Loria we'd throw in $100MM (chump change) and agreed to buy one of his paintings. He said I drove a tough bargain and would think about it." WEDNESDAY: It was previously suggested by Matt Vaginitis and Peter Gaymans of the MLB Network that the Los Angeles Dodgers should trade anyone not named Clayton Kershaw to the (Florida, nee) Miami Marlins for one-dimensional -- soon-to-be Matt Kemp 2.0 -- slugger Giancarlo Stanton, including their young Cuban stud Yasiel Puig. Naturally, these suggestions were met with criticism and condemnation -- partially because, but not limited to -- the idiots who made the statement. Well, it turns out their hypothesis was 100% wrong, but not for the reasons you might think. According to John Moronsi of FOX Sports, the Dodgers have already approached the Marlins about acquiring Stanton, but that the deal must include Kershaw. When reached for comment, Dodgers' General Manager Ned Colletti informed MLB Network's Ken Rosenthal (via Twitter) of the following: "No truth to rumors started/perpetuated by those idiots at MLB Network. I told the Marlins we'd give them Kershaw and Hanley straight up for Stanton, and I'm waiting for their reply. So it appears there could be something in the works after all. Stay tuned to mlbtraderumors.com.
complete with links... Dodgers Win Rights To Ken Jeong By Tung Myanus [November 7 at 12:50pm CST]The Los Angeles Dodgers have won the rights to negotiate with South Korean actor Ken Jeong. It is not certain what amount the Dodgers posted (since they were the only ones team to bid), but it has been rumored to have been in excess of $500MM. That may seem like a lot for someone who has never played baseball at any level.Jayson Stark of ESPN called the Dodgers' bid "idiotic", and added "well, that's Ned Colletti for you." But others, such as Carlos Doyer and Chris Dodgers of VRP's SABR School 4 Life, praised the move: "The fact that he's never played is irrelevant." said Doyer. "He's a team-first guy who's going to take a lot of pitches. That means a lot to the guys coming up behind him (no homo). The naysayers can say what they want, but you cannot argue with the value he brings to the team." Chris added that Jeong brings intangibles that can only be seen by skilled SABR savvy individuals. "People ignore his sense of humor, handsome-ness (yes homo) and asian-ness." Doyer and Chris also put together a formula to project Jeong's production for 2014. Using a c-factor (for comedy), an o-ratio (obscurity) and a hsf-multiplier (homo sabr fag), they were able to come up with an iWAR estimate of 895.45. "When you factor that into a 162-game schedule, it means that Jeong will kick fucken ass!" exclaimed a passionate Doyer. "Anyone who disagrees or says otherwise is either an idiot or a fag! In some cases both! And if you want to fight about, I'll meet you anywhere anytime! Fucken cunt bitches!" Still, despite that passionate outburst (and subsequent threat), there was at least one other individual reluctant to side with Chris and Doyer and jump on the Jeong bandwagon. "Those SABR hacks don't know what the fuck they're talking about!" says Phil Thinkblue of DSP. "Any moron can spin doctor numbers and make them look promising. Shit, how do you think I got into College? But I digress. I hope Ned (Colletti) catches syphilis from an underage Haitian boy prostitute, goes blind, gets HIV from intravenous drug abuse with Miley Cyrus, and fucken dies!" __
a long long time ago... when you used to work in the insurance industry, before openly admitting to being gay, did you always want to be a sports writer? ooh embedded images too! nicely played...
Dodgers sign Robinson Cano By Harry Aynus [November 25 at 1:43pm PDT] 1:43pm: Cano, when notified he had been contractually bound to the Dodgers without his approval or knowledge, fired pseudo-agent Jay-Z and hired boxing promoter Don King to represent him in subsequent negotiations. 1:05pm: The Dodgers have awakened from their offseason slumber and signed prized free agent Robinson Cano to a three-year deal for $60MM plus incentives, according to CBS Sports' Jon Heyman. Cano and his agent Jay-Z, were reported to have been seeking a 10-year/$300MM deal before agreeing to sign with the Dodgers. The deal -- orchestrated solely by the rapper -- not only pays Cano far less than he was seeking annually, but also throws him back out on the market again in three years -- when his skills will have declined significantly, thus costing him hundred's of millions of dollars. "This is an important day for me and my agency," said Beyonce's (soon-to-be-former) wife. "Fuck all those other bkitch teams, the Dodgers stepped up! Robbie will be excited about becoming a Dodger -- I can hardly wait to tell him!" ChrisDodgers contributed to this article. __
I dunno I don't see Cano happening I think that we get the Cuban kid and lets hope that works out until Seager grows up
