DODGERS OFF-TOPIC Thread

Discussion in 'Los Angeles DODGERS' started by irish, Apr 2, 2017.

  1. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    You cursed me last week.
    You are a wizard.
    Symbolic imagery is magic.
    As is cursing people.

    I fell from your evil jesuit curse.
    Felt pain behind me eye.
    And like crackle pop from half a rice crispy but loud.
    Then mild eye diwcomfort for a few hours as if I had a speck of sand.
    But behind the eye in the brain much pain and swelling

    Spent three days with my face closed. Left eye drooped. Left mandible dislocated.
    Right shoulder dislocated.
    No power to do nothing but nap.
    Eyes getting more open but sight is tired and legs feel like cement .
    Belly super swollen.
    Neck twisted.
    Glands all swollen.

    This hasn't happened in a few years. But this was the mildest one in a long time.
    Im better right away after a week.
    But I feel like an old old man.
    No spirit.
    But my tachycardia was wat out of line before this.
    I was at 144 and I could feel the preasure in chest.
    Now after this stroke of luck my tachy is down to 99 bpm.
    And I can lie down on my left side without feeling like a balloon.

    But yeah, huh? you an evil wizard trained in the art of word magic.
    Please repent.
    Which means turn heel.
    Or else you will continue to misuse your talents and cause harm with what is only supposed to be used for good exclusively or it becomes a curse upon you.
     
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  2. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    I lost my phone on Saturday.
    I haven't left my house.
    I don't know how to get into my accounts on anything.
    I feel really dumb.
    Like retarded.
    Sleeepy.
    But not sleep.
    Like if finsksi sent a Jesuit magic bullet to stop me.
    I go to Armenians all the time.
    More than the Turks.
    Doner btw means thor.
    Donar for you western arians.
    And the top in which the kid is roasted al pastor for a gyro or shawarma taco.
    Off topic.

    The dude at the bakery gave me armo attitude.
    The armos love me this is the first one to ever act caveman with me.
    I was in super cave man form so I put my hat on the floor and gave the nice bakery lady the leash to my dog and I started mocking the guy for talking tough. He was stomping around me yelling blood and the dudes from the Mediterranean deli got up. Now these dudes are there all day mostly everyday and never see them work. They just sit and smoke and talk on phone and munch on pickled turnip.
    A customer from the market was yelling at me to leave that I was being a troublemaker.
    I'm thick in Armenian district and every face looking at me is from old Noah's stock.
    I tell the lady to call the cops if she afraid.
    She says on who.
    I say on me. Now please be quiet so I can finish my purchase .

    Bakery dude told me to go outside when I went in with dog. This is halfway through my order. A little girl was taking my order just fine.
    He came in and was rude but I rolled with it.
    Turned one cheek.
    I continue order from door way.
    With dog on my left hand outside .
    Then he says to go outside completely and he will call me when my breads are baked.
    I like fresh yeastless thin bread with spices and veggies. They cheap as fuck and very nutritious.
    I go there everytime I go to the market next door.
    So I wait and he calls me for my order.
    I poke my head in and say I cant go in because of my dog. Can you bring it to me.

    He responds by saying why cant I come in. I tell him I have dog and can't let him go to go to the counter.
    He says... what do you want me to do about it?
    With an indidignant tone as if I was trying to treat him as a servant demanding him to flip the counter door and come bring the credit card machine and my package.
    I was the only customer.
    He just felt I was fucking with him.
    I had a swollen brain and so my eye looks weird and my voice had gotten very deep and croaky so maybe he felt I was too much.
    I have been I totally understand.
    I had been doing so much better with my lower back and hips.
    But too many people dying in my family.
    And the family all fighting.
    And their dad told me all the secrets to put down each of his kids.
    A persons personal image is his god.
    And his life.
    When he believes that image is everything.
    Or what's best in life.
    Then getting cancelled is kin to murder.
     
  3. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    I forgot I go back to the market and get tomatoes and cilantro and tortillas cuz I'm Mexican and they even got tortillas at the Armenian deli.
    Who do I see paying in front of me.
    The lady who was yelling at me.
    She is paying while on the phone with the cops and she telling them to stay on the phone with her because she was scared I showed up next to her.
    I chatter something mocking to the pretty girl at the register loud enough so the cops can overhear so they further understand it's a dumb lady overreacting.
    But who knows maybe she not on phone with police but on phone with armorrussian local security specialists aka mobiles.
    So after I pay I walk out and go the direction of the deli and the two guys smoking their cigarette and check in with them.
    Say good afternoon gentlemen.
    They nod, and one say everything good.

    Then later that night my head explodes.
    No actually it was the next day.
    My aunt died the day I got into it with the Armenian and then I had family issues with her son the next day.
    It's was really bad.
    I'm his best friend according to his son.
    But i had priorities that they didn't understand.
    I have a cousin who is from a more money part of the fam.
    He is autistic and retarded and lives like a little caged animal.
    He's 37 now tho and he tries to leave to hitchhike to Arkansas to be with some other soecial needs girl he talks to online.
    He's got way more social life than me and he never showers.
    His gf is beulemic and he has adopted it for her sake.
    His mom is 80 and also in hospital from kidney failure so I was goin over there everyday to buy him the food he would actually eat. Alfredo chicken papa John's pizza and cream soda dr pepper and honey bbq lays. All from what curren tv commercials tell him would be fun to eat.
    I also was getting him to shower and brush his teeth. Plus washing his clothes cuz he was out.
    I was feeling good.
    I was tired sure but i felt I was normal to be tired.
    It's hot and I've been doing a lot.
    And I was not that tired like I am now where I feel like a sack of potatoes on the ground.
    I was overdoing it.
    Too much walking the dog.
    Not a euphemism.
    This new dog likes to run all the time and my legs also took a beating.
    I popped a muscle last month and my leg was all purple and swollen. Now the knee feels stiff and well marbled.

    I'm sure I'll get better soon.
    But no lie a few days ago I though I was stuck in simple jack mode.
    I'm still hoarse and grunt a lot.
    And I move around like a knuckle dragger.
     
  4. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    He did himself in when he pushed through the two ladies he works with who got in between us.
    He hit their arms with his body like a bitch.
    I've been busting bullies everywhere I go before you cursed me with the Jesuit Armenian Orthodox curse.
    All you gotta do to a tough guy is accept their attempt at intimidation and force their hand.
    Once you do it once to the guy who thinks he's tough you can keep doing it.
    Real tough guys don't try to intimidate people or take out their frustration on those they think are schmucks.
    I dress like a wetback.
    Adults fuck with wetbacks just like kids do.
    Not in the same way.
    More in the way where you are not the target demographic their business wants around.
    Like how a homeless is shooed away as fast as possible if they walk into the bakery to buy a pita.
    You almost have an India type mentality growing here where customer service and basic respect are tied to what kind of stuff you order and how much or if you tip.
     
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  5. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    Carrols?
    not sure what i thought happened to you but engaged in an armo death battle wasn't it
     
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  6. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    I was trying to write Carlos but this old phone keyboard is bad.
    And I'm wobbly.
    Old Asian boss used to call me carrolus.
    His wife called me kahlos.
    He was Mongolian and she was Canton.

    I was feeling invincible for a few months.
    Guess I had to pay the piper.
    Not physically invincible.
    I know my body is not fit.
    But it's tough.
    Learned that from the old short fat Mongolian.
    I was invincible in my mind.
    As in my spirit.
    Fear com
     
  7. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    No fear.
     
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  8. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    of all the stupid fucking functions that can be accidentally turned on a phone auto answer has to be the winner
    why would anyone want their phone to automatically pick up when someone calls ffs???
    maybe if you work in acid with your hands or some shit but what is that a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of people?
    nothing good can come from your phone when you don't notice believe me
    fucking karma from another universe
     
  9. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    This is a weird cosmic truth I can confirm.
     
  10. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    so it happened to you too?
     
  11. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    I misread your post.
    I thought it was about people who call you by accident and leave long ass messages where they reveal too much info because they don't realize they on the phone.
    An auto call feature.
    Like robo calling.
    Except old people robocall merely out of being old and sitting on their phones and having everyone on speed dial icons on the screen.

    I usually don't make these type of misreads. Gotta do more neck stretches to get blood up to the brain again.


    Then I thought you meant as in permanently screening all calls.
    People that do that tend to stop answering calls.
    Or to make value decisions on who they answer for.
    This can get bad for your nature.
    Eventually people get tired of not reaching you.
    Then you get no more calls.
    Other than robocalls.
    And wonder why.
     
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  12. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    no there's actually a feature that makes the phone answer automatically no matter what
    so someone calls you it rings once and then they are instantly on the phone or speaker phone talking or listening to what's going on
    i never knew it existed and have no idea why it would other than to bring grief into your life
     
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  13. lastatman

    lastatman DSP Legend Staff Member Moderator

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    I got a new phone yesterday and that's exactly my fear - that I will call/text/IM someone (or answer their call) without knowing, and spill all my darkest most deranged secrets. I'm at about 25% of where I need to be to understand it effectively. Why is it the smarter the phone, the dumber I feel?
     
  14. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    People who want more anxiety
     
  15. LAdiablo

    LAdiablo descarado

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    so i knew this was happening and thought i had been doing something wrong or somehow set the face recognition but no, there's actually a setting for auto answer
    and if this somehow gets turned on your phone will pick up and the caller is suddenly listening to whatever is happening in the space your phone is at
    perhaps you're flirting w some girl or worse and your gf/wife calls...or happen to be talking a drug deal when your kid calls...or having a private business convo when your partner calls
    it answers and they're listening!
    why the fuck would that be on any phone and who could actually want it?
    but how can it accidentally be turned on as well?
    have to imagine every woman in the world knows about this feature way ahead of us...beware
    having just acquired a new phone i hadn't locked it yet so my only advice would be that's the very first thing you do every time
     
  16. lastatman

    lastatman DSP Legend Staff Member Moderator

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    I would never intentionally activate that feature. Should be a way to disable it permanently if you don't want it.
     
  17. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    You are being soft modded so you more readily accept mandatory surveillance in future.

    All societies end up like their own homebrew flavor of a North Korea if they reach level 4.

    Some will have members of each family bribed to inform on their kins misdeeds.

    Other cultures would force everyone to house a gov worker who was there to report how you lived.

    Some places were really weird and people were required to go to a wizard looking probationary officer at a big fancy courthouse and get in a little booth where you would be interrogated into self reporting all your unpatriotic activities and those of your friends and neighbors in order to win time off for good behaviour and get out of dodge and into blue heaven.
    As long as you repeat the self help mantras as many times as the wizard proscribes and that you attend all weekly group therapy sessions in the big hall and complete all the required duties of your organized reeducation commitment you should have no problem getting clear of mind and knowing who you truly are before you die so you can die content and not die looking for more content.

    Ha! I think I just came up with the next Christopher Nolan movie title.

    CONTENT.

    Is it content as in the state of being?
    Or content as in having more stuff to have, experience, watch, show?

    Made for and about the YouTube and other media creators lifestyle that is making loads of people instant millionaires while destroying anything in it's path.
    That kinda movie might make a lot of people happy.

    Or make it about how CNN viewers are only content when their content is about Trump.
    If you wanna make bucks make it Trumps.

    And have it tie back to the founding fathers.
    Happyness you have to pursue.
    Content you have to make.
    You get to choice two choose.
     
  18. lastatman

    lastatman DSP Legend Staff Member Moderator

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    I was thinking about this yesterday in the context of TSA Precheck. I'm a latecomer to that "benefit," as I dragged my feet for years. (I actually paid the 85 bucks about seven years ago, but I didn't show up in person, so it ended up being a donation to Uncle Sam - hope he spent it wisely.) So after countless trips of getting to see my wife cruise through TSA Pre, while I waited in the long line, I decided to finally get off my ass and get the clearance.

    Now first of all, on a recent flight from Denver, I have to say the TSA Pre line was not substantially shorter than the other line. Then yesterday I went into a local Staples store as a walk-in, hoping to get this taken care of. They were swamped - 60 people had appointments on the day, so they told me to make one online and sent me away. 60 people. In one store. On one day. Seems like a lot of people are getting off their ass.

    Which leads me to this. What once seemed so appealing because it allowed you to go through a very short line at airport security now seems much less so. I guess they'll tell us that it's still worth it because we won't have to take our shoes off or pull our toiletries out of our luggage. Well for me, that's never been much of an inconvenience. I just don't want to wait in the line. So I have to ask, is TSA Pre really still (or was it ever?) just a way to preserve safety on airplanes?

    People will continue to do this, and as a result the government will continue to capture everyone's fingerprints. Until one day it will be mandatory that you have this clearance if you want to fly. And that's how they'll get fingerprints on each and every one of us. And we'll accept it. "Readily," as Rube says.

    They already have my fingerprints through my profession, otherwise I might just say screw this, I'll stay home.
     
  19. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    It will get worse in ways you can't imagine if you dont know.
    Comfort is your killer.
    Comfort is how they get you to accept anything.
    They know humans are programmed to receive.
    So they prime you for comfort.
    They put for to you simple choices every day.
    Choice 1 do something uncomfortable.
    Choice 2 do something comfortable.
    When given the choice 99.9 percent of people will choose their own or their families personal comfort over a trivial inconvenience.
    Even if said comfort is eroding your rights and freedoms.
    Well first others rights and freedoms.
    Your comfort means someone else gets loses theirs.
    Eventually your choices won't be hidden behind a wall of good feelings.
    Eventually every choice you make leads to someone getting made permanently uncomfortable for your comfort.
    Like Kobe wanting his daughter to arrive on time for the game but having ice in your veins clouding your choices.
    The comfort of not sitting in traffic and flying above the peasants and hurrying up the pilot through bad weather are the choices we make that lead to the ultimate sacrifice to the god of comfort and care.
    That's the god of Karens.

    You must be a rube if you don't want to become a good German.
    You have not care about their shit.
    If you love their shit then you trapped.
    But a rube is too dumb to love what they can give.
    A rube is only smart enough to love what is natural, what is real and what never changes.
    Anyone too much smarter than a rube can be easily tricked because all that knowledge is a bottomless pit used to trap guppies that think they can swim with the sharks in deep water.
    Rubes don't swim with sharks.
    They swim with orcas.
    And eat shark liver for breakfast lunch and dinner.
     
  20. RubeRedux

    RubeRedux Active Member

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    What kind of blaspheme is this!
    The dude does not abide.
     
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