It's pink, it is huge, and it has a trunk...

No, I am not talking about Irish's mom.

This is another story full of ups and downs and questionable decisions (albeit not in the back of a Chevy Volt with bad rear suspension).

This is not a story of a Dodgers team that managed to eclipse half century long records. Nor is it a story of a love affair between two men named Skip and Nick and their need to express their full love through noogies and fart jokes. This is a story that looks past an insane winning pace, this oddly matched division race, and Kershaw's coming contract from outer space (see what I did there).

This is a story of another month. After Halloween displays have been picked over and candy sold for pennies on the dollar, one might notice---November. Yes, ladies, gentleman, and TB, moving past the pathetic Turkey stickers in store windows, there sits a collection of jerseys. On the back of four are the names: Puig, Kemp, Crawford, and Ethier. The first one is replenished as quickly as the salesperson can move from the back to the front, the second moves at a decent pace with customers murmuring about hamstrings, Colorado walls, and questionable ACT scores, the third sells decently yet sporadically, and the final jersey just does not sell like it once did.

Enter three pretty knowledgeable baseball fans--for this story let us call them VRP, Ford, and Mousey. As they pilfer through the merchandise they make comments on the namesake for each. "Hurt a lot, but damn 2011 was not that long ago". "I hit lefties better but do you remember the late inning power". "He seems to like it here...I like him in the lead off role". "And, apparently the motherfucker managed to fuck his way from room to room in the playboy mansion and still hit over .300."

And then the pregnant pause as reality sinks in....with Mousey doing math using a calculator. Hey, we have four outfielders for three spots. Man, three of them make a ton of money. How are we going to do this? Hey, guys, my calculator says that 4-3 = 1. (We shall look away as two of our stars help the other with basic math and suggest a tutoring service).

Yes, dear reader, we have an issue around the corner.

I am talking one Matthew Ryan Kemp. It looks like Kemp is on his way back for September and that is a very good thing for the Dodgers. Matchups will become easier to manage and we have a DH should we...dare I say it...well, you know.

But, what gets done in the offseason?

Pontificate, iterate, and regurgitate---post your ideas, bkitches.

 

A few from my list.

- Resign Nolasco for the back end of the rotation.
- Work something out with Kershaw.
- Sign the Cuban infielder if our scouts are sure he is MLB ready, if not, pick up dickheads (Ellis) option.
- Release Hairston.
- Resign Uribe for a 1 year deal if possible.

 

Resigning both M. Ellis and Uribe is asking for trouble.

 

Sign CK
Sick Ricky
Resign one of Wilson or Howell
Bring back TWO of Punto, Hairston, Uribe and Ellis, preferably Uribe as one of them
Sign the Cuban IF if that's what they want to do, or if not try to trade for Kinsler
Try to trade for David Freese now that the Cardinals have Wong and Carpenter
Trade one of the non-Puig OFers for either Kinsler or Freese, or prospects/salary dump (my choice would be Crawford)
Make Bills available out of the pen until at least the All Star Break

Kershaw-Greinke-Ryu-Nolasco-Lee
Kinsler-Puig-Gonzalez-Ramirez-Ethier-Kemp-Freese-Ellis OR Puig-Ethier-Ramirez-Gonzalez-Kemp-Freese-Guerrero-Ellis

 

I don't like Freese. Nothing to back me up on that.

 

He gets too many bitch hits when we play those fags in red.

 

Predicted that's what u were gonna say when I saw u quoted me

 

He seems like he'd suck for us.

 

Off-season plan: Party hard after winning it all bkitches!!!

 

Trade Lee, Reed, CC and $20MM for David Price.

 

So a bad contract, a #3 type SP, and a reliever for David Price, sign me up. Doubt the Rays go for that though.

 

TB would hang up so fast it would make your head spin

 

They aren't going to sign him and that is a lot of return for them.

 

No, they'd hang up the phone very quickly

 

I'd trade Joc, Lee, Reed and someone else for him.